Wedding RSVP wording: what to put on it, when it’s due and how to track replies

When the wedding RSVP deadline should be

Send invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding and set the RSVP deadline three to four weeks before. That is the margin caterers and venues usually need for the final head count; if many guests are traveling, send invitations earlier and keep the same deadline.

What to put on a wedding RSVP (and what to leave off)

Every extra question is a reason to put it off. The essentials:

• Accepts or declines, answered with a single tap.
• Who is coming, with each plus-one’s name: “+2” is useless for a seating chart.
• Each person’s meal choice, if there are options, and any allergies or dietary restrictions.
• Whether they need the shuttle or are joining the welcome party, only if you have them.

Allergies are health data: only ask if the caterer will use them, and say why you are asking.

Wedding RSVP wording examples

• Classic: “The favor of a reply is requested by May 10.”
• Warm: “We can’t wait to celebrate with you! Please let us know by May 10 so we can save you a seat.”
• Adults-only: “We love your little ones, but our celebration is adults-only. Kindly RSVP by May 10.”

One place to RSVP: not three group chats or a Google Form

If some guests reply by text, others call and others tell your mom, you end up with three lists that never match. A Google Form works, but it leaves you a spreadsheet to reconcile by hand with plus-ones, meals and tables. What works best is an RSVP form inside the invitation itself: each guest answers on their own, even by scanning the QR code on a printed card, and the reply is stored under their name.

Your wedding guest list: the columns you need

• Full name, and which side they’re from: bride’s family, groom’s family, friends or work.
• Whether they have received the invitation, and how.
• Their reply: attending, declined or pending.
• Plus-ones, each with a name.
• Meal choice and allergies for every person.
• Table number and shuttle seat.

You can keep it in a spreadsheet, but with the RSVP inside the invitation that table fills itself in: the dashboard adds up attending, pending, meals and allergies, and you download it as a PDF when a vendor asks.

A reminder text for guests who haven’t replied

A week before the deadline, message only the people who haven’t answered. A short personal text works better than a group blast, and with the link right there, replying takes thirty seconds.

“Hi Mark! We’re finalizing our head count with the caterer and we’re missing your RSVP. Will you join us? You can reply here in a minute: [link]. Thanks!”

What to do with the replies

With RSVPs on a dashboard, the numbers add up by themselves: guests attending, meals by type, allergies by name and shuttle seats. From there you build the seating chart and download the PDF each vendor needs. See it in the dashboard of a 200-guest wedding, and for dietary needs, read how to plan the wedding menu.

Start with the invitation

The RSVP lives inside the invitation, so the first step is to make it: here are the steps, and you can start now in the editor, free and without signing up. To see what a guest receives first, open the sample invitation.